Saturday, March 2, 2013

"Dis"ability is an Excuse not Reality!

Saturdays are days of cleaning and attempts at organization!  I just crack myself up when I type or say the word or derivatives of the word "organize."  A vision of me hearing that word or saying that word is one of me standing at the door of the room I am to organize in, staring blankly into space.  That term is one that is so far from the glue that holds me together that I can't even say this with enough impact!

I'd like to share what happens after the blank stare occurs.  I told you of the memory loss due to the Encephalitis, now I will tell you of what happens when entering into a room, aisle, showroom, etc., with many many things in it or laid out.  My eyes look at what's there, and my brain doesn't comprehend what I'm seeing.  This is another result from having had Encephalitis.  I can see there are multiple things there, but I have no visual cues telling me, "this is many bottles of paint on the shelf."  What my brain tells me is, "blurrrrrrrrrr...can't tell you what I see."  It takes anywhere from five minutes to fifteen minutes to understand what is there and most of the time, I have to pick something up to help me see one item up close.

Let me tell you, that when this happens when I go to Walmart, Copps, Shopko, Walgreens, Piggly Wiggly, etc., anywhere there are aisles of things, it feels like an impossible task to find what is on my list.  The physical feelings are nauseau, severe circular headache within the middle of my forehead, and a blank look comes over my face as I have been told by my husband and my daughter.  I was later told by a doctor that this is not something to take lightly and that when this happens, I need to turn off the stimuli by closing my eyes because this actually could lead to my brain shutting down completely.

So, organizing a room, a bookcase, a shelf or going shopping are extremely difficult tasks for me.  Now, some might say, "Well, you should just not do these things anymore and stay away from things like that!"  To those people I say, "You don't know me very well do you?  I am an overcomer!  I am one who will NOT allow something to stop me from doing something I need to do, something I have to do or something I love to do!" 

"Dis"ability comes from giving up due to limitations.  I don't have a disability because I don't give up or let these things stop me.  What I do is trouble shoot, make lists, break tasks down into steps and I give my mind time to focus in and understand what is there!  If I have to close my eyes, I do so, even in the middle of the store and people may think I'm crazy! haha!

So today I want to say to you, if I can function with the limitations I have, what is it that is stopping you from doing what you need to accomplish?  Break it down, put it into steps, give yourself a reward after accomplishing things, so that you won't be saying down the road, "I look back at my life, and what do I have to show for it" or saying, "My disability took away my life."  It is us who take away the progression and success of our lives.  We may encounter new limitations, but it is not those limitations that take us down, it our own limited thinking.  So get up and go today!  Start that project on paper, work it into workable steps, and find success!

Have a completely awesome Saturday folks!
LuAnn Marie

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